All I can say–selfish and immature though it sounds–with whom I share a special friendship like Renia shared with her beloved Zygu. For years after her death, Zygu could not part with the diary, keeping a photocopied version of it as a shroud in his basement, writing his notes back to his beloved,
Another month of May is coming, the month of love… Today is 23 April 1989. I’m with Renusia’s sister–Jarusia. This blood link is all I have left. It’s been 47 years since I have lost Renusia. When I think after about her, I feel so small and unimportant. I owe her so much. Thanks to Renia I fell in love for the first time in my life, deeply and sincerely. And I was loved back by her in an extraordinary, unearthly, incredibly passionate way. It was an amazing, delicate emotion. our love grew and developed thanks to her. And it will never change until the end… [Zygmunt]
Despite its tragic end, this is the perfect book to read when you are in love. I ought to know: I am in love with my Zygmunt. His name is Vlad. He is everything a “tall, dark, and handsome” can be and more: he has a genuinely honest and brave heart. When I look at him I see “everything I want to be.” And I will include the words of Renia’s after “God saved Zygu”:
June night
pregnant
with dense darkness
night… stretches
above my head.
Night of solitude
Came. The irresistible one stood
at the end of the bed
with a tormenting face
dug its claws
into the sticky brain
and I dream…
My naked thoughts
stripped of clothing
stretch under my skull
in silence
and for mercilessly long
the night goes on.
Heavy black shroud
dropped and clings
to the body
silent and stubborn
I shuddered.
The flower opens
in quid
open lips
whisper words
fragrance of jasmine
of maturing buds.
Moan
exasperating slowly easing
sense sigh with relief
sweet fantasy
Dawn…
I hope that unlike Renia my love’s sun turns out to be a rising and not a setting sun.