I went to Charlie’s funeral today. The preacher preached a sermon about how in Heaven, Charlie will be able to understand his mother and father like a normal adult. Of course, he was a Christian, so he used the Hebrew Bible and New Testament to make this judgment. I typed up a biography of Charlie some day earlier… I would publish it here, but I am thinking perhaps I could–and I hope this doesn’t sound egotistical–publish it in the local paper… Or perhaps in the Concordia (where my grandparents lived and died); in Valley Center (where Charlie lived in recent years); in Marion (where Charlie was born and he spent part of his early childhood); and Wichita (where Mom and I live). Thinking over it, though it is not as good as William Allen White’s eulogy of his daughter Mary in the Emporia Gazette in Emporia, Kansas. Yet I feel that it reveals a kindred spirit, because just as Mary White died too young for reasons unfathomable, so my Uncle Charlie’s disability severely limited what it could become. Anyway, the minister preached a good sermon, though it did have a somewhat Christian orientation of you were listening as a Jew.
In fact, that latter half became a real testing place of faith. The casserole we had to eat in the Church afterwards had ham in it, and the baked beans may have, too. It has been years since I have eaten ham, but I decided for Charlie it was a necessary sacrifice. Strange to say, I had grown unused to ham’s taste and it tasted odd to me with it in my mouth. Nonetheless, I ate some of everything to be polite. If my religion cut me off from my family than it would be acting contrary to my faith’s intent.
I have thought about the man I am in love with… could he come Monday? I don’t know. Yet I keep hoping beyond hope that he will step into my life… am I blind? Do the verses fit me, you “have eyes but cannot see.”